Basic Parenting Principles: Tips & Best Practices

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Basic Parenting Principles: Tips & Best Practices
Basic Parenting Principles: Tips & Best Practices

What is meant by the principles of education? We are talking about the initial provisions underlying the pedagogical process. They imply the consistency and constancy of the actions of adults in different circumstances and situations. These principles stem from the very nature of education as a social phenomenon.

When adults perceive this goal as a certain peak, planned to be achieved by their child, the principles of education are reduced to the possibility of realizing the plan based on specific conditions - psychological and social. That is, the whole set of them can be considered as a series of practical recommendations shown to the leadership in any life circumstances in order to help the pedagogically competent alignment of the technique and tactics of one's own activity in "raising" children.

What has changed?

A number of recent years (and perhaps decades) society has experienced certain democratic transformations due tothan there is a revision of many principles of raising children with filling with new content. In particular, the so-called principle of subordination is becoming a thing of the past. What it is? According to this postulate, the childhood of a child was not considered as a separate independent phenomenon, but served only as a kind of preparation for adulthood.

Another principle - monologism - is replaced by the exact opposite - the principle of dialogism. What does this mean in practice? The fact that the undoubtedly "solo" role of an adult (when children were given the right to only respectfully "listen") is changing to a situation of relative equality between adults and children as subjects of education. In the new democratic conditions, it is vitally important for both professional educators and just parents to learn how to communicate with a child from an “equal” position.

What are the principles of family upbringing these days?

Principles of physical education

The first principle is purposefulness

Education as a pedagogical phenomenon is characterized by the presence of a certain reference point of socio-cultural orientation, acting as the ideal of pedagogical activity and the expected results of the educational process. Most modern families are focused on a number of objective goals formulated by the mentality of a particular society.

As the main component of pedagogical policy, such goals in our time are the values ​​of a universal nature taken together, the presentation of whichpresent in the Declaration of Human Rights, the Constitution of the Russian Federation, the Declaration of the Rights of the Child. Of course, at the household level, few parents operate with the pedagogical and scientific concepts and terms contained there, such as "harmonious all-round development of the personality", but all parents, holding the baby in their arms, sincerely dream that he will grow up a he althy, happy, prosperous person living in harmony with those around them. That is, the presence of universal human values ​​is implied "by default".

Each particular family has its own ideas about how parents want their children to be. This gives the home principles of education a subjective coloring. As a rule, the child's abilities (both real and imaginary) and other individual traits of his personality are taken into account. Sometimes - quite often - parents analyze their own lives, success, education, personal relationships and find a number of serious gaps or miscalculations in them. This leads to a desire to raise the baby in a completely different way.

The purpose of the educational process in this case, the parents put the development of the son or daughter of certain abilities, qualities that allow the heir to achieve what the "ancestors" failed. Undoubtedly, upbringing is always carried out taking into account the cultural, ethnic and religious traditions available in society and important for the family.

As carriers of the objective principles of education and upbringing, one can name a number of public institutions with which, in one way or another, anyfamilies. These are modern kindergartens, later - schools. If there are contradictions in the educational goals of family members and kindergarten (school), a negative impact on the development of the child (both general and neuropsychic), its disorganization is possible.

In a particular family, it can often be difficult to determine the educational goal due to the lack of a clear parental understanding of the characteristics of the child associated with his age and gender, trends in child development and the very nature of the educational process. That is why the function of professional teachers is to assist specific families in determining educational goals.

Principles of parenting

The second principle is science

For hundreds of years, common sense served as the basis of home education, together with worldly ideas and those customs and traditions that were customarily passed on from generation to generation. But during the last century, a number of human sciences (including pedagogy) have been advancing at a high pace. Not only the principles of physical education have changed. There is a lot of modern scientific data concerning the patterns of development of the child's personality, on which the modern pedagogical process is built.

A thoughtful approach of parents to scientific educational foundations is the key to achieving more serious results in the development of their own children. A number of studies have established the negative role (in the form of miscalculations and mistakes in home education) of mothers and fathers' misunderstanding of pedagogical andpsychological basics. In particular, the lack of ideas about specific age-related characteristics of children leads to the use of means and methods of education of an arbitrary nature.

Adults who do not know how and do not want to work on creating a favorable family psychological climate almost always "achieve" childhood neurosis and adolescent deviant behavior. At the same time, in the everyday environment, ideas about the simplicity of such a thing as raising a child are still quite tenacious. Such pedagogical ignorance, inherent in some parents, leads to their lack of need to familiarize themselves with pedagogical and psychological literature, consult specialists, etc.

According to sociological research, the proportion of families with young educated parents who take a different position is growing. They are characterized by the manifestation of interest in modern scientific information on the problems of child development and education, as well as the desire to improve their own pedagogical culture.

The third principle is humanism

It implies respect for the child's personality. And this is one of the most important principles of social education. Its essence is the desire and obligation of parents to accept their own child as he is in the totality of individual traits, habits, tastes. This ratio does not depend on any external norms, standards, estimates and parameters. The principle of humanism implies the absence of lamentation that the baby may not live up to maternal or paternal expectations, or those self-restraints and sacrifices thatborne by the parents in connection with the care of him.

A son or daughter does not have to conform to the ideal idea that has developed in the parental mind. They need recognition of the uniqueness, originality and value of their own personality at each particular moment of development. This means accepting the right to manifest one's own childish "I" at each specific moment in life.

Principles of training and education

All parents notice gaps in children's growth and upbringing compared to "examples". The latter are peers, children of relatives, friends, etc. Children are compared by "achievements" in speech development, dexterity, physical skills, etiquette, obedience, etc. Modern principles of raising children prescribe pedagogically competent parents to correct the noticed shortcomings carefully, without offensive comparisons. The tactics of parental actions require a shift in emphasis from the requirements for children's behavior to the restructuring of their own educational methods.

The basic rule of pedagogy, arising from the mentioned principle of humanity, is to avoid comparing the baby with anyone - from peers to great people and literary heroes, the absence of calls for copying any patterns and standards of behavior and imposing "on the forehead " particular activity. On the contrary, it is extremely important to teach the growing person to be himself. Development implies a steady movement forward. That is why comparison is always required only with one's own achievements on"yesterday" leg of the journey.

This line of education implies parental optimism, faith in children's abilities, orientation towards realistically achievable goals in self-improvement. Following it leads to a decrease in the number of conflicts (both internal psychological and external family), peace of mind and strengthening the physical and mental he alth of children.

It's not that simple

It is not easy to follow all the above principles of education and upbringing in the case of the birth of a baby with certain external features or even physical defects, especially when they are quite noticeable and lead to curiosity and inadequate reactions of others. We can talk about the "hare lip", bright pigment spots, deformed auricles and even serious deformities. Such features of appearance in themselves serve as a source of feelings for a growing person, and in the case of tactless statements of relatives and strangers (which happens especially often), it is not uncommon for a child to form an idea of ​​his own inferiority, with a subsequent negative impact on growth and development.

It is possible to prevent or mitigate it as much as possible only by reconciling the parents with the fact that the child has certain insurmountable features. The educational policy in this case is the firm and gradual accustoming of the child to understanding the need to live with the existing disadvantage and treat it calmly. This task is not easy. After all, the social environment (school or street environment) will constantly experience a growing little manmanifestations of spiritual rudeness of both children and adults, including professional teachers - from curious glances and innocent remarks to laughter and outright mockery.

The most important task of every parent in this case is to teach their daughter or son to perceive such behavior of others as less painfully as possible. It is important in such a situation to identify and develop as much as possible any existing virtues and good inclinations of the baby. We can talk about the ability to sing, compose fairy tales, dance, draw, etc. It is necessary to harden the child physically, to encourage manifestations of kindness and a cheerful disposition in him. Any pronounced dignity of a child's personality will serve as the very "zest" that will attract friends and just those around him and help him not to notice physical flaws.

Principles of family education

On the benefits of family stories

It turns out that such legends, which usually exist in every family, are extremely important as a factor in the normal mental development of children. It has been established that those people whose childhood was accompanied by family stories told by grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers and fathers are capable of better understanding the psychological relationships in the world around them. In difficult situations, it is easier for them to navigate. Such telling children and grandchildren of family legends and episodes from the past contributes to the mutual balancing of the psyche and the surge of positive emotions that we all need so much.

Every child loves repeating the same favorite stories, although sometimes parents have a hard time about itguess. As adults, we remember family jokes and "legends" with pleasure. Moreover, we can talk not only about positive examples - the successes and achievements of older relatives. Psychologists believe that the importance for the development of the child's psyche of the memories of parents, grandparents about experienced failures can hardly be overestimated. Such stories lead to the growth of children's self-confidence - after all, relatives and loved ones also did not achieve everything right away. Therefore, the child calms down about his own mistakes and believes that he is just as capable of achieving everything or almost everything.

Psychologists are recommended to share stories from their own lives with kids as often as possible. This especially applies to the period when the "listener" was still at a very tender age and was just beginning to master the world around him. Children are happy to feel their own growth and are proud of any, even small, achievements so far.

According to modern principles of education in pedagogy, the basis for building relationships between adults and children is cooperation and mutual respect based on trust, goodwill and unconditional love. Even Janusz Korczak expressed the idea that adults, as a rule, care only about their rights and become indignant if they are violated. But every adult must also respect children's rights - in particular, the right to know or not to know, to fail and shed tears, not to mention the right to property. In short, it is about the rights of the baby to be who he is incurrent time.

Do you recognize yourself?

Alas, a very, very large number of parents reject modern pedagogical principles of education and stand on the common position regarding the child - "be the way I want to see you." This is usually based on good intentions, but at its core, this attitude is dismissive of the child's personality. Just think about it - in the name of the future (planned by mom or dad), children's will is being broken, initiative is being killed.

Pedagogical principles of education

Vivid examples are the constant rushing of a child who is slow by nature, prohibitions on communicating with objectionable peers, forcing people to eat those dishes that they do not like, etc. In such cases, parents do not realize the fact that the child does not belong to them property, and they "illegally" arrogated to themselves the right to decide the children's fate. The duty of parents is to respect the child's personality and create conditions for the comprehensive development of their baby's abilities, help with choosing a life path.

The wise and great humanist teacher V. A. Sukhomlinsky urged every adult to feel their own childhood, to try to treat the misconduct of a child with wisdom and the belief that children's mistakes are not a deliberate violation. Try not to think badly about children. Children's initiative should not be broken, but only directed and corrected tactfully and unobtrusively.

The fourth principle is continuity, consistency, regularity

According to him, family upbringingmust follow the set goal. This approach presupposes the gradual implementation of the entire set of pedagogical tasks and principles of education. Not only the content, but also those methods, means and techniques that are used in the educational process according to the individual and age-related children's capabilities should be distinguished by planning and consistency.

Let's give an example: it is easier and more convenient for a toddler to switch from an unwanted activity to another distraction. But for the upbringing of a five-six-year-old child, such a "trick" is no longer suitable. Here you will need to convince, explain, confirm by personal example. As is known, the "growing up" of a child is one of those long-term and imperceptible to the naked eye processes, the results of which can be felt far from immediately - sometimes after many, many years. But there is no doubt that these results will be quite real if the basic principles of education are consistently and systematically followed.

With this approach, the baby grows with a sense of psychological stability and confidence in himself and his environment, which is one of the most important foundations for the formation of a child's personality. When the close environment behaves with him in specific situations in a similar way, the world around him seems predictable and clear to the child. He will easily understand for himself what exactly is required of him, what is allowed and what is not. It is thanks to this understanding that the child realizes the boundaries of his own freedom and he has no desire to cross the line where rights are violated.others.

For example, a child accustomed to self-collection for a walk will not for no reason hysterically demand to be dressed, lace up shoes, etc. It is especially important to instill the skills necessary for independence, approve achievements and diligence.

About parental strictness

The sequence of upbringing and severity are often confused. But these are different concepts. The principles of the upbringing process, based on rigor, involve the unconditional submission of the baby to parental requirements, the suppression of his own will. Consistent style implies the development of the ability to organize one's own activities, choose the best solution, show independence, etc. This approach increases children's subjectivity, leads to an increase in responsibility for their own activities and behavior.

Alas, many parents, especially young ones, are impatient. They forget or do not realize that the development of the required qualities of character requires repeated and varied exposure. Parents want to see the fruits of their own activities now and immediately. Not every dad and mom understand that education is carried out not only with words, but with the whole environment of the parental home.

Principles of social education

For example, a child is told every day about neatness and the need to keep toys and clothes in order. But at the same time, he daily observes the absence of such an order among his parents (dad does not hang things in the closet, but throws them on a chair, mother does not clean the room, etc.) This is verya frequent example of the so-called double morality. That is, the child is required to do what is optional for older family members.

It must be taken into account that the direct stimulus (the observed picture of domestic disorder) for the baby will always be more relevant than the verbal one (requirements to put everything in its place), and there is no need to talk about any success in the educational process.

Spontaneous educational adult "attacks" have a disorganizing effect on the child, shake his psyche. An example is the visit of a grandmother who came to visit and is trying in a short time to make up for everything lost (in her opinion) in raising her grandson. Either dad, having attended a parent meeting in a kindergarten or having read popular literature on pedagogy, rushes to “develop” his five-year-old baby at an accelerated pace, loading him with tasks that are beyond his ability for this age, teaching him to play chess, etc. Such “assault attacks”, being short-term, only confusing and have no positive impact.

Fifth principle - systematic and comprehensive

What is its essence? It implies the influence of a multilateral nature on a growing personality, taking into account the whole system of principles of education, its goals, means and methods. Everyone knows that today's children grow up in a cultural and social environment that is very, very diverse and far from being limited by family boundaries. From a very early age, kids watch TV, listen to the radio, and on walks and in kindergarten, communicate with a largenumber of different people. The influence of all this environment on the development of the child cannot be underestimated - this is a serious factor in education.

Such a variety of pedagogical influences has both pluses and minuses. Under the influence of an endless stream of information, children receive a lot of interesting information that contributes to intellectual and emotional development. At the same time, a huge amount of negativity falls into their field of vision. TV shows scenes of cruelty and vulgarity that have already become familiar, the harmful effect of TV advertising on children's consciousness is hard to deny, the child's vocabulary is littered with dubious turns and speech clichés.

What to do?

How can the destructive influence of such factors be reduced under such conditions? And is it even possible?

This is not an easy task and is unlikely to be fully feasible, but to reduce (if not eliminate completely) the impact of negative factors is quite within the power of any family. Parents should establish control over, for example, watching certain programs on TV, properly interpret many of the phenomena that the baby encounters (for example, explain why profanity should not be used, etc.)

It is important to take certain actions to neutralize the negative impact of the environment. For example, a father can go out into the yard and organize a sports game between his son and his peers, thereby switching the children's attention from watching TV to useful and he althy activities.

Principles of education in pedagogy

Scientific pedagogy educational process is conditionally differentiated into a number of separate types. We are talking about the principles of physical education, labor, moral, mental, aesthetic, legal, etc. But, as you know, it is impossible to educate a single person “in parts”. That is why, in real conditions, the child simultaneously acquires knowledge, his feelings are formed, actions are stimulated, etc. That is, there is a versatile development of the personality.

Psychologists unanimously say that (unlike public institutions) only the family is subject to the possibility of the integrated development of children, familiarization with work and the world of culture. It is the family principles and methods of education that can lay the foundations of children's he alth and intelligence, form the foundations of the aesthetic perception of the world. Therefore, it is especially pitiful that a number of parents lack an understanding of the need to develop all aspects of a child's personality. Often they see their role as only fulfilling specific educational tasks.

For example, mom and dad can take care of proper nutrition or familiarization with sports, music, etc., or focus on early education and mental development of children to the detriment of labor and moral education. Quite often we see a trend towards the release of a young child from any household duties and assignments. Parents do not take into account that for full development it is necessary to form an interest in work and master the appropriate habits and skills.

Sixth principle - consistency

This is one of the basic principles of education. ToAmong the features of the impact on modern children is the implementation of this pedagogical process by a number of different people. These are both family members and professional teachers of an educational institution (teachers, educators, coaches, heads of circles and art studios). None of this circle of educators can exert its influence in isolation from other participants. Everyone needs to agree on the goals and content of their own activities, as well as the means of carrying them out.

The presence of even small disagreements in this case puts the child in a very difficult situation, the way out of which requires serious neuropsychic costs. For example, a grandmother constantly picks up toys for the baby, and parents require him to take independent actions in this matter. Mom requires a five-year-old child to clearly pronounce sounds and syllables, and older relatives consider these requirements too high and believe that with age everything will work out by itself. Such inconsistency in educational approaches and requirements leads to the loss of a child's sense of reliability and confidence in the world around.

If parents adhere to the above principles and means of education, this will allow them to build competent activities to guide the cognitive, physical, labor and other activities of children, which will effectively promote children's development.

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