Tact - what is it? When we talk about her, we tend to imagine a polite person who treats others with respect. But in fact, there is a difference between politeness and tact, what is it? To answer this question, we will give information about the latter in more detail.
Definition
What is tact? This word can characterize such a property of a person as the ability to behave in accordance with the etiquette and ethical canons accepted in society. However, this concept implies not only mechanical adherence to behavioral guidelines, but also the ability to feel and understand the internal state of the interlocutor so as to avoid awkward and unpleasant situations, both for him and for those around him.
In other words, tact is when a person can behave in such a way as not to touch any “sore spot” of another person, not to offend, not to humiliate him. And this is done, as a rule, intuitively. But, unfortunately, not everyone has suchintuition, and some people don't even know about tact. They cut the truth and believe that they are doing the right thing, and at the same time they are sincerely surprised that they are offended.
When the truth borders on rudeness
Of course, such "truthfulness", which causes mental trauma to the interlocutor, is inappropriate and highly undesirable, it is already close to the manifestation of rudeness. Hence the conclusion: if there is no urgent need to "open your eyes" to your counterpart to any juicy details concerning himself or his relatives, it is better not to do this. Moreover, it is unlikely that you will be grateful for this.
It is not necessary for no apparent reason to point out to a person any physical defects, because they cannot be corrected, therefore such criticism is prohibited. But if these are shortcomings in clothing, then you can pay attention to them if, for example, they compromise a person, and he himself will be happy to correct them. If you do this in an unobtrusive and non-offensive manner, this will be a manifestation of tact.
There are situations when a friend or girlfriend shares with you the joy of acquiring a new thing, but it seems to you that it is not worth such enthusiasm. But since the purchase has already been made, and nothing will change from your criticism, in this case, to be tactful is to support a loved one, albeit somewhat prevaricating, to praise his choice, not to spoil his mood.
Don't meddle in the soul
It's always best to avoid asking intimate questionsinterlocutor. This applies to questions about salaries, about the general financial condition, about relationships in the family, about relations between a man and a woman, about religion. For example, if a girl is not married, you don’t need to ask her every time you meet how things are “on the personal front”. A childless couple does not need to be asked about the reason for childlessness. In the presence of relatives of a person suffering from alcoholism, one should not touch on the topic of drunkenness. In such cases, tact is, knowing the vulnerabilities, being able to bypass sharp corners.
If the partner himself starts a conversation on a “sensitive” topic, expressing his opinion, you need to be careful in expressions and not make harsh judgments. But what if the person with whom you communicate is little known to you, and you do not know about his vulnerabilities? Then you need to delve into his words and try to understand what can offend him.
Tactless will be a public discussion of your personal problems in the presence of strangers, for example, when you are talking on the phone, especially in transport, on the street or at work.
Tact: Synonyms
The object we are considering has quite a lot of them, for example, these are the following words:
- Politeness.
- Subtlety.
- Courtesy.
- Respectful.
- Delicacy.
- Care.
- Flexibility.
- Courtesy.
- Challantry.
- Correctness.
- Caution.
- Courtesy.
- Good manners.
- Sensitivity.
- Responsiveness.
- Intelligence.
- Sensitivity.
- Tolerance.
- Caution.
Origin
The word "tact" comes from the adjective "tactful", formed from the noun "tact", which came to us from German (Takt) or from French (tact). There it appeared from the Latin language, where it is written as tactus and means "touch, touch." The latter was formed from the Latin verb tangere - "to touch, touch", and this verb - from the Proto-Indo-European tag in the same meaning.
A few more rules
Here are a few more rules to help you be tactful:
- Tactless behavior is considered to be behavior in which, in the presence of a person who is not privy to the essence of the issue, they speak in hints, whisper, exchange glances, demonstrating their “knowledge of the secret”. Secrets should be discussed without witnesses who may feel superfluous.
- Tactless will be the manifestation of idle curiosity, a demonstration of interest in someone else's life - eavesdropping on conversations, reading other people's letters, phone messages not addressed to you, staring at a person, especially with physical disabilities, looking into his mouth while eating.
- Friendliness and courtesy should not cross the line, turning into importunity. Showing restraint in expressing your feelings is also evidence of tact.
- If you saw a person in an awkward situation, it is better to pretend that you did not recognize or did not at allnoticed him, and if this did not work out, then try to forget about the trouble and never remind you of it.
From all of the above, we can conclude that, unlike politeness, which is characterized by knowledge of certain rules and their observance, tact is a manifestation of special attention to the interlocutor, care for his feelings.
