How to learn to get along with people? How to find a common language? Sometimes it happens that, speaking the same language, about the same problem, and even sharing the same point of view, people do not hear each other, do not understand, and draw wrong conclusions. Why is this happening? Let's try to deal with this issue.
The concept of "common language"
What does this notion mean? Finding a common language means reaching mutual understanding, finding an opportunity to agree among themselves, to come to mutual agreement with interlocutors regarding views and thoughts, actions and deeds, solutions to a particular problem.
However, from the point of view of psychology, it is not always easy to achieve mutual understanding. People grew up and were brought up in a different environment, received a different education, each owns his own profession, has a variety of values and habits, lead a different lifestyle. And many more factors affect the way people think and behave in a given situation.
How to connect with people
Communication is a very important part of our life. It is present in all areas of life: in the family, at work, in the store, communicating with friends, colleagues and just strangers. Reach an understandingit is necessary with different people to avoid conflict situations, not to enter into disputes, just to be in a calm and comfortable state and always have a good mood.
Some people do it easily, we can say that they received this priceless gift from nature. For others it is much more difficult. However, it is possible to learn how to find a common language and build relationships with people. Think for yourself, because at one time all our friends and colleagues were strangers to us. As an example, look at children, how they easily, unobtrusively and naturally make friends.
Tips on getting along with others
First of all, tune in to communicate with others. No need to constantly focus on yourself and your problems. Be open and friendly. Learn to listen to other people. And not only to listen, but also to hear. Be interested in what is happening in their lives, what they live, what are their hobbies, what are their plans for the future.
Try to find something in common. It can be any memories and events from the past, common interests and hobbies, the same lifestyle, similar tastes in clothes, food, books, similar plans for the future. You can also always discuss general topics such as the weather, sports, events, hometown or country, culture and customs.
In any situation, be calm, polite, friendly. Treat your interlocutors with respect. It is worth remembering that all people are different, but sometimes it is this difference that can unite people.
Strive to see something in every personthat is good and good. No need to pay attention to skin color, social role, status, age of a person. The most important thing in people is their morality, their inner world. Speak warm and kind words to people. It's not difficult at all, and your interlocutors will be pleased.
Share your good mood and positivity with others. People see those who know how to enjoy life and are drawn to them. Problems and difficulties happen in the life of any person. But how to deal with them and overcome them is everyone's choice.
Try not to get into arguments on every occasion. It turns people off. Also, you do not need to participate in gossip and intrigue, discuss someone behind your back. If they want to impose participation in them, it is better to tactfully leave or switch to something else.
Talk to the point. Before you start saying anything, think about not saying too much. Always keep promises, as this is the key to trust. If you cannot fulfill any request, do not promise, tactfully and politely refuse.
Be honest and sincere. It always wins people over.
Relationship with the child
The problem of fathers and children remains relevant at all times. The question of how to find a common language with a child is asked by each parent at a certain stage of life. At first glance, it seems nothing complicated. After all, this is your child, and you have known him all his life. But sometimes he surprises you so much with his actions and thoughts that you stop recognizing him.
It is very important to be able to recognize the feelings of the child."But we do it!" - many may object. Is it really? Are you sure that you are not replacing the real feelings of the child with your perception and feeling? Let's consider one situation. Mom and child go home from the store, which is literally a stone's throw away. The child says he is tired. And mom replies: “Don’t invent!” Is this like acknowledging a child's feelings? Result: the child may withdraw into himself and you will no longer be able to find a common language with him. So what should have been done? Agree with the child by saying his words aloud. “Yes, it’s not far from the store to the house, but you are tired. I understand.”
How an adult can interact with a child
Children need to be helped to sort out their feelings so that they can learn to trust their own feelings. There are several ways to help with this.
- Listen carefully to the child's words. Sometimes just empathy helps.
- Show that you understand him. Do not criticize, do not dispute his words. It can only hurt. "Understand". “I would feel bad/hurt/sorry too.”
- Call feelings by their proper names (pain, resentment, annoyance, irritation, anger, etc.). Don't be afraid, it won't hurt you.
- Demonstrate that you heard the wishes of the child, and show imagination.
How to get along with someone else's child
There are times when you need to make contact with someone else's child. For example, you came to visit friends who have children, or you were askedsit with the child for an hour. Below are a few tips on how to best behave with children to build rapport.
You should treat your child like an ordinary person, just a little one. Talk to him calmly, in a normal tone, without excessive "lisping".
Sit down or bend over to be at eye level with your child.
If you want to praise a child, it is better to focus on any details of clothing or a toy that may be in his hands. Don't bring anything personal, it can make the child more shy.
Talk about his things, toys or books. Play what he wants. Don't impose your games.
Follow some fairly simple tips and you will be able to get along with someone else's child without any problems.
How to approach teenagers
Common language with a teenager is also not always easy to find. But relationships can be improved. First of all, the child should feel loved, no matter what happens (regardless of grades in school, problems with others, etc.).
It is necessary to let the child understand that parents are the best and truest friends. A child should turn to mom and dad with any problem and be sure that he will be supported and helped to solve any problem, no matter how difficult it may be.
You need to build trusting relationships, discuss not only serious issues, but also everyday affairs. Try to create a friendly, relaxed atmosphere, have fun togetherspend leisure time. Be interested in the child's hobbies, his thoughts and desires. Find time for a heart to heart talk. And then your child will trust you, listen to you and appreciate your advice.
Common language in English
Communicating in a foreign language is always difficult. In today's world, English is very common. It is considered to be international. International conferences, exhibitions, events are held, as a rule, in English. And if you just go on vacation abroad, you will have to deal with communication in English.
Don't be afraid of being misunderstood, be friendly, open to communication, follow all the advice on finding a common language, and you will not be afraid of any language barrier.