The one who says about himself: "Nobody has ever liked me" is a person who is clearly insecure about himself. Finding out why it happened is half the solution.
Did someone in your childhood diligently inspire you that you are unattractive, and you will not succeed? Or is there a person who suppresses your dignity? Have you suffered disappointment or unhappy love? Maybe you are overly jealous of someone's achievements, believing that only they give a chance to be interesting and pleasant to people?
But, oddly enough, you need to start solving this issue from a different topic: how do you treat people. Who is the person you don't like? What qualities do you dislike and why.
Do you like people?
The bar for judging people's attractiveness or unattractiveness may be too high. More precisely, overpriced. Sometimes the media stubbornly hammers hard stereotypes of fashion, beauty, physical form into the head. If the legs are not the right length or the hair is not so shiny, then some young people equate this withdisaster. But in vain.
Think about how many people you consider truly worthy of sympathy? Maybe only two or three beauties-fashionistas (at the same time, winners of all Olympiads)? This means that it's all about your own prejudices. The problem is not in appearance, character, intelligence (yours and those around you), but in your false perception of the personal merits of people.
If you objectively look at humanity, you can immediately see that everyone is so different that it is difficult to develop a single criterion for sympathy. Think about how people, even those with opposite qualities, are friends, get married, and are respected by colleagues.
Opinion of friends
Let's say you are a girl. Naturally, being liked by your teachers, parents or friends is not the same thing. And you will have to earn the sympathy of these people in different ways. Are you ready to reckon with their opinion, is it always fair?
You probably don't just want to please everyone. You want to be attractive to friends and only compare yourself to younger members of your same sex. Do they really not like you, or do you think so?
If your friends (like you) have prejudices about social status, appearance and moral virtues, and their opinion remains decisive for you, it still makes sense to look around. As psychologists say, go beyond your reference group.
All these "likes-dislikes" are not so unambiguous as they seem at first glance. Your environment may inspire you with false values. You may like people who are not inable to understand and appreciate you.
Communicate in psychological forms, there are many frank confessions, everyday situations that will help you better assess the problem of "like or dislike". Pay special attention to those who describe why they don't like people. Often they consider themselves exceptional, unique, and they just don't like almost anyone.
Trust and verify
The strangest thing is that insecure people not only like to "wine" about this, but they do not believe the compliments that they are told, ignore words of support, look for a reason to make sure of their imaginary "unsympathy".
There are amusing testimonies of the falsity of the opinion about their own unattractiveness, which women are so convinced of. So, looking at their photographs five years ago, they are surprised each time: why did I then seem to myself an ugly girl who did not like others? Because I was so good….
The simplest advice that most psychologists offer is to please yourself. Learn to respect your problems, notice the best in your features, develop the qualities that you like in others. Everything will work out.
Think and do
However, there are a number of standard rules that make people prettier. Behavior that others do not like is often associated with the violation of these laws. These include:
- Internal purity.
- Ease of communication.
- Smiling.
- The ability to understand the boundaries of another person's personality, in other words, attention andbeat.
Appearance? Yes, experience confirms that it is, fortunately or unfortunately, not the solution to your problems. If beauty will save the world, then it is rather the beauty of the soul. And the old adage "a he althy mind in a he althy body" should be understood as follows: it's good if a strong person is also spiritually rich.
Of course, the path to self-improvement should not be blocked, including the physical one. But being a perfectionist is extreme. To do something better than anyone else, to do it well, or simply to find the strength to create something - in life you have to consider each of these three options as a worthy course of action.
People like you
Avoid over-reliance on other people's opinions. Yes, unfortunately, there are parents, brothers and sisters, friends, colleagues who, out of zealous feelings, do not allow other people (both men and women) to feel their usefulness. Narcissists love to make the background for their person out of those around them. But the antidote is not at all in conflict with them.
Your intelligence is your strength. Learn to evaluate people objectively. Do you yourself like handsome men with arrogant faces? Smart guys who despise peasant labor? The sluts who teach moral behavior to everyone? Neat people prone to the fascist order? Of course not.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Being a person who is absolutely "disliked" is difficult. Age (both young and old) is not always a virtue, and not always a disadvantage.
IfIf you asked yourself the question: "People don't like me?", then you are on the right track. This means that you are interested in social psychology, the laws of communication. You want to understand yourself and others. Which is a big plus for you as an individual. And people love this feature!
