When we talk about restraint, we immediately imagine a person with an angry expression. His lips are arrogantly pursed, his eyes are prickly, what emotions can we talk about?
In fact, restraint is not at all what it seems to us. Such people are usually very well educated. But let's take a closer look at this topic.
Concept
If you look at textbooks on psychology. then in a generalized form, the definition of restraint looks like this: it is caution in the manifestation of feelings and emotions. It is formed through respect for the interlocutor and good upbringing.
Restraint=good manners
Restraint is good manners? Yes, for the most part. Very often, discreet people are so well-mannered that they can be envied.
This is manifested in the ability to communicate, in the manner and timbre of speech, in gestures and facial expressions. Unlike the same affectation, restraint is natural. A person with this trait exudes nobility.
If you had to observe a restrained individual, then he is admired. Eachhis trait is imbued with nobility. They say about such people: "He breathes them."
Passivity and restraint
Human restraint is often equated with passivity. Like, he doesn’t care about anything, he is cold and indifferent. That's why he behaves like this.
Totally wrong opinion. A passive person can be very emotional. But behind these emotions lies an unwillingness to take responsibility and help others. It is much easier to start lamenting, regretting words than to take responsibility for support.
Emotion and restraint
Emotional restraint is a wonderful trait. Do you know that emotionally reserved people make great friends? They will not cackle and flap their wings, akin to hens. They will just look sympathetically and take action to be supportive.
Under the ability to manage their emotions are people with a very big and kind heart. After all, in order to help a friend, it is not at all necessary to lisp over him and lament.
Patience
Restraint and patience are the same thing? Let's just say that these qualities are "one field of berries". Excellent brakes on the track of life, allowing you to avoid too sharp turns and turns.
It is easier for a restrained and patient person to live. Not in the sense that he has no problems. There are, and sometimes even more than more emotional people. It's just that our hero knows how to adapt, to wait and not to chop off his shoulder.
How to develop this quality
Howto cultivate restraint in oneself who, from an early age, was distinguished by increased emotionality and unbridledness? Let's learn this process:
- The right motivation. Ask yourself why you need to be restrained. What benefits will you achieve if you cultivate this quality in yourself. Find the positives that will be in your behavior when you learn to restrain yourself.
- Sometimes you have to put up with something. We cannot, for example, influence a traffic jam. Or a bad phone connection. Therefore, the manifestation of emotions on these occasions will not give anything, except for two or three lost nerve cells.
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"I see the goal - I see no obstacles." Developing restraint is a constant work on oneself. And it is done regularly, that is, a person moves forward in small steps. You have to get used to the idea that there is no going back. A rollback will have certain negative consequences for you.
- Communicate less with people in conflict. Take a look at your surroundings. Friends-buddies are characterized by increased emotional incontinence? Try to distance yourself from them. Communicating with such individuals, we unconsciously begin to imitate their behavior.
Keep a diary. Yes, no need to smile. With a diary, you can share everything: your victories and defeats. Write down in detail in which situations you showed intemperance, and in which you were able to remain silent. And work through situations in which you behaved differently thanwould like to.
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Distract yourself from the object of irritation. Are you stuck in a traffic jam? Instead of swearing through your teeth, turn up the music. Or go to a social network, check your email, call family or friends. Finally, give in to your dreams.
- Arrange aromatherapy. Do you know how a bath with a few drops of essential oil helps? Or incense sticks. They have a very good effect on the nervous system, helping it to relax.
- Drink calming infusions. For example, at lunch, instead of coffee or tea, drink a decoction of chamomile. It has a beneficial effect on the nervous system, causing a person to relieve stress.
- Just relax. Set aside 10 minutes a day for solitary relaxation. Go to an empty room, sit on the couch, close your eyes and relax. Think of something nice to help you relax.
- Analyze situations that provoke you to emotions. Play out their other restraint decisions.
Why it's good to be discreet
Restraint is the ability to manage oneself. That is, control over feelings and emotions. It's wonderful when the mind and emotions obey a person, and not he them. By the way, one of the main reasons why it's great to have restraint. It's nice to know that you can control yourself.
The second point is restraint in communication. This is important to know. Witha person who knows what restraint, moderation, simplicity and decency in communication are, it is pleasant to deal with. Such people are usually thoughtful. They don't change their minds spontaneously, they don't go to extremes.
By the way, restraint is very useful when you need to "turn on the mind." Cold thoughts are much better than chopping wood on a hot head.
In relationships with close people, restraint allows you to maintain balance. When everyone around is "boiling", it's hard not to say a lot of nasty words to each other. A restrained person, despite the fact that a storm breaks out inside him, is able to look at things soberly. He will not scream and stomp his feet, proving his case. Or he will remain silent, thereby not bringing the tense situation to the extreme. Or he will begin to operate with facts, appealing to the minds of the participants in the squabble.
A discreet person at work is worth its weight in gold. He is able to enter into a debate with the leader and firmly, but very kindly, crush him with facts. Especially when the boss is wrong.
Yes, and such an employee reacts calmly to the stupid behavior of colleagues. He does not lose his temper when someone boils and seethes like a kettle on a stove.
Sometimes it's bad
Of course, on the one hand, restraint is very cool. But on the other hand, you can’t keep everything in yourself all the time. Restrained people, with all their kindness and a huge heart, get sick more often. It is very difficult to suppress your emotions, to swallow them. In the end, everything comes to a limit. He comes and emotional"swallowing". The man ate to the point of nausea. And there are two scenarios for the development of events: either our hero will give them free rein, or he will fall ill.
Both options are scary. People who are very reserved by nature present a terrible sight when they get angry. Then you should stay as far away from them as possible, because self-control is lost. And the behavior of a person, if you continue to irritate him, is close to a state of passion. As we know, this can end badly.
The second option isn't much better, really. The body does not receive discharge, looking for it and, as a result, makes a person go to bed. Moreover, the disease can be both obvious, with signs of pressure, temperature, and other physical manifestations, and internal. The latter does not mean a disease of the internal organs at all, but the inability of medicine to diagnose the disease. According to all analyzes and indicators, our hero is he althy. And he feels completely sick.
That's why sometimes it's good to release emotions. In order not to accumulate aggression, causing damage not only to others, in case of its release, but also to one's own he alth.
How to throw off emotions
Restraint is the ability to manage oneself. But it happens that a person just needs to relax, relieve negative emotions. And he cannot do this, because he is used to constantly holding himself in hand.
Someone may think this advice is silly. But it works and works well. Especially for those who are afraid of heights.
Go to the ferris wheel. Make one circle, immediately emotionsthrow off. Come out of the ride a rejuvenated person.
Conclusion
So we have examined in detail what is hidden under the word "restraint". This is control over one's own mind and emotions, the complete ability to control oneself.
In fact, the quality is very good and useful. However, we should not forget that we are people, not robots. Periodically, when restraint begins to squeeze the throat, get rid of it. One of the effective ways is described above.
To throw off emotions, it is not necessary to scream and beat the dishes. You can do it in more relaxed ways.
