An insolent person demonstrates disrespect for others in different ways: with a look, a word, a gesture. And even with a look, and a word, and a gesture at once. Plus, excessive demands, as if the whole world owes him something - from a grandmother on a bench in the park to a baby in a stroller. Consider what arrogance is, how it manifests itself and how to deal with it.
Is there any "ceremonial"?
There is such a word in Russian. Its synonyms (according to Ozhegov's dictionary): majesty, formality, solemnity are signs of a well-organized event. For example, experiences at a wedding ceremony or at a ceremony honoring heroes, winners remain in the soul for life.
But this list of synonyms is supplemented by others: affectation, stiffness, scrupulousness, zirlich-manirlich - this is how behavior is called when a person wants to draw attention to himself and seem ideal to himself and others. However, they cause laughter in most cases and a desire to stop communicating. He is an obnoxious, snobby "cracker".
So ceremony isgood or bad? You can answer like this: everything is good in moderation and to the point. Good breeding is manifested not in the intrusive ability to demonstrate it, but in sensitivity and respectful attention to others, in good manners. One of them is simplicity and dignity in behavior.
Arrogance is not a disease…
"…but a big disgusting thing." This definition is the first to come to mind when confronted with its manifestations, because aggressive and tactless attempts to control our behavior are perceived with hostility. Even if it needs correction, the reaction is negative: someone is indignant, someone is perplexed, someone is crying.
Arrogance is:
- always aggression directed at others, based on self-love or on the belief that the whole world (or a specific person) needs to be shown his place;
- sometimes it is a way of self-defense of a weak, internally insecure person, from the alleged ill will towards him on the part of people;
- sometimes - a demonstration of one's exclusivity, superiority, allegedly giving the right to command and control;
- or a way to have fun, to get sadistic pleasure from how indignant people are.
An unceremonious person often does not suspect that he is one. He considers himself a truth-seeker, a fighter. However, it is not in vain that the word "arrogance" has many synonyms and, unfortunately, they do not denote the best manifestations of human nature:
shamelessness, cynicism, familiarity, shamelessness,swagger, indiscretion, freedom, cynicism, rudeness, impudence, amikoshonstvo, shamelessness, familiarity, liberty, impudence, shamelessness, impudence, impudence, familiar treatment, arrogance, impudence, familiarity, rudeness, arrogance, impudence, swagger, snoring (from the Dictionary of Russian synonyms).
What are they doing wrong?
The insolent people themselves often use the impudent behavior in communicating with loved ones, trying to manipulate them or believing that this is a sign of trust and love. This is a profound delusion: shamelessness bothers even the most patient relatives and friends, it destroys family and friendship ties.
Another mistake is that familiarity is taken as a sign of exceptional closeness to another person, for example, to a boss or an older person. But the boss himself, as a rule, perceives it as an insulting disrespect for his person. The inept striving to rise in one's own and in the eyes of others turns into a repulsive impudence and - a fall.
Arrogance - is it freedom of speech, behavior, relationships? Not at all. It is the freedom from the obligation to treat one's neighbors with respect in life, which is the mark of a civilized person. As it echoes, it responds: rudeness turns into general indignation and rejection of the insolent person from the circle of worthy people.
Another misconception: being unceremonious is profitable, because they are afraid of them. Not at all. This behavior may be shocking at first, but thencauses such a wave of hostility that in the future it becomes meaningless to rely on human understanding and help.
How to react?
Depending on where and who showed impudence, you can give the following advice:
- Naughty in a public place. Don't react at all. Otherwise, there is a risk of stimulating further escalation of aggression.
- A relative or colleague is annoying with tactlessness. Calmly explain what specifically you don't like and limit all contacts except business.
- A family member is disrespectful, dismissive, etc. The most difficult situation, since it is impossible to avoid daily contact with him. The main thing is not to bring the relationship to family wars. First, figure out what is causing this treatment, and try to eliminate it. Calmly explain what exactly you don't like and set firm rules for communication.
It is impossible to give advice for all occasions. But the main thing is patience. And if it is already not enough, then you can scandalize. Without screaming and with pleasure.
So that he doesn't grow up like this
Arrogance is a weapon aimed at oneself. It is not so easy for the owner of such a negative character trait to live in constant confrontation with others, which he himself may not be fully aware of.
In any case, this is a gap in education. Caring parents should form in their child goodwill towards people, self-esteem, self-criticism and shame. And also to teach the culture of communication in the family, in public places, politeness inany situations, discipline and diligence, the ability to put yourself in the place of another person and feel his feelings.
It is very important for teenagers to develop an evaluative attitude towards other people in terms of morality. Sometimes they take the arrogance of the insolent (leader of the pack), his swagger, familiarity, arrogance for steepness and try to copy them.
Education is not limited to constant moralizing, it is also a demonstration of how to act, behave in specific situations. These samples are given not only by parents, but even bystanders on the street, passengers in public transport, shoppers, movies, performances. You should draw the attention of the child to the correct and negative forms of human behavior and try to convey to his consciousness their moral (or immoral) essence.
Arrogance is not an innate quality, but a product of improper upbringing in the family, an expression of lack of culture.
