Often when communicating with a child, parents catch themselves not knowing what to do. Depending on the situation, the forms of education will look different. It is important to understand what you want from the child and what the child wants from you.
It's simple! If your child asks for something with persistence, it means that for some reason he needs it. In order to choose reasonable forms of education and methods of pedagogical influence on the child, it is important for parents to find out why. With such a parental approach, the right motivation for actions is formed, which subsequently will not allow the child to make a mistake at the moment when he is left without control and advice. In this way, the most important task is also achieved: the parent also passes on the methods of self-education to the child.
On the other hand, in order to form this most true motivation in your beloved treasure (you can call it conscience, there is an opinion that conscience is our adviser), the parent himself also needs to have clear goals andunobtrusively explain them to the child. In this case, the methods of raising children and the approach to them will be prompted by their loving hearts.
Let's say your goal is to raise a happy person. A person who knows how to love is happy. Because a person who knows how to love is usually also loved by those around him. The principles of the world order, such as “nothing comes from nowhere” and “love your neighbor as yourself” work strictly here: to the one who gives his love, this love will certainly return. And hence happiness.
Therefore, we teach the child to love and be happy. Asking for hands? We are trying to understand why. "Just a whim" is not an explanation. Because they simply cannot be capricious yet, in principle, their life experience will teach them later with direct parental participation. There is no whim at an early age, there are unmet needs. For example, the need for physical contact. We are all
we are born with this need. Just like with the need to eat, drink, sleep, move, breathe fresh air, rest after work and other others. And it would never occur to anyone to refuse their child food or a walk for no apparent reason. In the same way, for no apparent reason, do not deny him his need to snuggle up to an adult, loving and strong person.
Besides, you know, everything looks completely different from above - not like from below, much more interesting. By depriving their child of this angle of view of the surrounding world, the parent deprives him of the opportunity to experience the world in all its beauty and diversity. In any case, it postpones this possibility for a long time.
But suppose thatthe request to take on the handles is still accompanied by a roar and some insanity. This suggests that the forms of upbringing previously chosen by the parents were not entirely correct - that is, the parents simply did not try to figure out what the child needed, and immediately took him in his arms to calm him down. This is natural, because it is very unpleasant when the baby is torn. But you should not let your child get used to resolving conflicts in this way, you need to find out the essence of his desires.
So, "so as not to yell" is the wrong parental motive, this is not an action that contributes to our goal of raising a happy person. Take him in your arms, please, but first explain that mommy-daddy loves to take in his arms (to take in his arms, and not just love) a cheerful child. Say it whenever he cries and asks to be held. Speak cheerfully, persistently, with love. Ask to wipe away the tears, help him with this - give a handkerchief, a napkin, in a word, distract him as soon as possible from his unconscious decision to beg for what he wants with a roar. Laugh by meowing or barking as you like, you'll know better what your child is laughing at and what forms of parenting are required in this situation. And when he laughs - then take him in your arms. Joyfully and with love. A few of these exercises, and he himself will learn to wipe away tears before asking to be held. Everyone will feel a little better.
