Hearing praise in your address or chatting with an interesting person - isn't it great? And suddenly, like a bucket of water on your head, the advice "do not flatter yourself." What does this retort mean? Should it be taken seriously? And what threatens self-deception?
The sentimental literature of the 18th and early 19th centuries paid special attention to the theme of seduction and self-deception in stories about unhappy love. Vivid examples are Karamzin's "Poor Lisa" and Goethe's "The Sorrows of Young Werther". Writers subtly and accurately describe the feelings of young heroes.
There are also many stories in fables in which self-delusion (as one of the most typical human traits) is considered from all sides. Moths flying on fire is one of the best images for such emotions.
Is it worth it to achieve what you want? Is it necessary to overestimate praise, flattery, apparent comfort? Are events, relationships correctly perceived, is there a catch in them? Don't we ascribe to our chosen ones those traits that were not in them when they were born? Simply put, how often do we mistake one for the other?
Origin of expression
What does "don't flatter yourself" mean?Let's look at the root of the verb "to seduce": "to flatter." Its one-root word is "flattery".
Here everyone will remember the fable of I. A. Krylov "The Crow and the Fox":
How many times have they told the world, That flattery is vile, harmful;
But everything is not for the future, And in the heart the flatterer will always find a corner.
Unfortunately, life is even more difficult than in a fable. To seduce means to try to instill a false but pleasing opinion and then profit from the situation. And to be deceived is to succumb to self-deception. "Do not delude yourself" - the meaning of these words is obvious: do not deceive yourself.
Judging by the number of stories devoted to this topic, as well as the number of synonyms, self-deception is familiar to many. "Build castles in the air", "put on rose-colored glasses", "indulge yourself with illusions" are expressions that reflect the temptations of a person who has lost his sense of reality. If an adequate understanding of events were easy for everyone, there would be no exhortations: "do not be seduced, do not be tempted, do not delude yourself." What do these tips mean?
Helpful tips
The false path along which flattery, coquetry or deception leads, makes loved ones warn about probable everyday mistakes. The ability to hear reasonable words, to learn lessons from books, unfortunately, does not come immediately. Everyone is en titled to their own personal experience and mistakes.
Hopes for love, affection, human relationships, business and constructive communication are absolutely normalyoung man's expectations. But how often people do not notice that with such feelings they turned to the wrong address and are unlikely to get what they want. The warning "Don't flatter yourself too much" means that more experienced friends have noticed a weak point in your plans.
Do you trust other people's opinions? Or believe only your own eyes? How many stories on this topic in fiction. How many seduced girls and young men who believed in illusions could not cope with them. Abbe Prevost's "Manon Lescaut" is another fine novel on this subject.
Is it worth deceiving yourself
What features did Tatyana see in Onegin? Probably the best qualities of the characters in your favorite books. Created my own hero. In novels, a lot is built on feelings, which are backed up by self-deception and self-deception.
There is a good fable "The Fox and the grapes". She is often referred to when they want to reproach someone who did not achieve what they wanted, refused the temptation. Like, the grapes are good, the fox blundered. In order not to regret, she simply decided that she was green - "you will immediately set your teeth on edge." Was this goal really necessary? It's worth thinking about it. If the grapes are not green, then this does not mean that they were prepared for the fox.
Love and seduction
A perfect example of what the words "don't flatter yourself" means is in modern cinema. The heroine of the film "About LuboFF" sincerelybelieved that she was loved. Fortunately, according to the plot, the girl has enough intelligence and character to understand that what is happening to her is not love at all. There is wisdom in this melodrama. It completely coincides in meaning with the "Confession" of A. S. Pushkin:
Ah, it's not hard to fool me, I'm glad to be deceived myself.
The dearest Dasha at first tries not to notice how inadequately her chosen one behaves, attributing to him the best qualities. But it turns out that she does not like to deceive herself at all, and reality comes into its own.
Most stories about female gullibility and self-deception don't end so optimistically, although there are pleasant exceptions.
An example of a unique female mind, not prone to illusory perception of reality, is in the novels of Jane Austen. There are dozens of adaptations of her works. "Pride and Prejudice" is a great lesson on the topic "What does it mean not to delude yourself." It has everything - an understanding of life, morals, one's place in the social environment, the motivation of people, all the nuances of seduction and self-deception.
One of the most difficult everyday tasks is not to believe the advice "do not flatter yourself" and act at your own peril and risk. Who knows, maybe such an act will turn out to be true. Only there should be a lot of strength, if you still have to be disappointed.
